JOY CLOKE

Walking towards the pain with an open mind and willing heart

 

Grief is intense, complex and long lasting. For many of us the death of a love one may be the most distressing experience we will face. Everyone experiences grief differently and there is no right or wrong way to grieve. People who are grieving often feel as if they are going mad as they experience a range of behaviours, feelings, thoughts and physical symptoms. This unfamiliar phenomena is completely normal and to be expected.

 

 

 

Grieving thoughts and behaviours

You may experience a range of emotions immediately following the news of a death. Pangs of grief begin within a few hours or days of bereavement and reach a peak at about four months. These feelings include shock and numbness. Persons in acute grief experience tighness in the throat, choking with shortness of breath, a need for sighing and an intense distress which can only be described as mental pain and tension.

The bereaved experience pining which is often followed by a period of disorganization and despair. Another strong preoccupation is with feelings of guilt, as the bereaved searches the time before death as evidence of failure to do right by the lost one.

 

It is not uncommon for the bereaved to experience a loss of warmth in relationship to other people and  some respond with irritation and anger, a wish not to be bothered by  others when friends and family make special efforts to keep up relationships.  Some grieving behaviours include; searching and calling out to the lost one as well as restlessness, an inability to sit still and moving about in an aimless fashion.

Sleep disturbances are commonly experienced as difficulty going to sleep and early morning awakening. Appetite disturbances which manifests as overeating or under eating, absentiminded behaviour - forgetfulness and social withdrawal with a loss of interest in the outside world. As well as crying which relieves emotional stress in the body.